Last week I facilitated a conference call for the MOMentum organization founded by Lucila McElory on living your life aligned with your values.

Many of you know how passionate I am about designing your life around your true values. When we live a life according to what is most important to us (our values) we become very happy people.  My hubby and I both agree that the true purpose of life is to live a happy one, when we are happy we have so much more to give to those around us, and when we have an abundance to give, we naturally live our life on purpose.

OK that is our philosophy and we are sticking to it – at least in this moment

During the conference call with the MOMentum moms, I shared the distinction between means vs ends values. There were a lot of questions.  It inspired me to share a little more of that conversation.

Often, when I ask someone “what is most important to you in your life?” (a great question to uncover values) they will say things like family, having a beautiful home, my career, traveling, my marriage.  These are examples of means values – means values are vehicles that allow us to have an experience. Ends Values are the “experiences”.

For example, all your life you dreamed of being an entrepreneur – having a career where you were your own boss, working from home.  You achieved that goal but still do not feel fulfilled.  Why? Owning a business is a vehicle to something that is more important to you. The ends value (the experience) you may be looking for is “freedom”,  “independence.”  Until you are clear of the purpose of your goal it is a crap shoot if your goal will bring you satisfaction.

Another example, if your goal is to be married (means value) it may be a the vehicle  to experience sharing, connection.  You find yourself married, but unhappy, there is no connection and very little sharing.  Being aware of the ends value, we can consciously design our relationship to experience those values.

A client once said to me “Teresia, success looks the way I thought it would look but it does not feel the way I thought it would feel.” Unfortunately I know many people who can relate to her statement.  Guess what became the focus of our work together?  Clarifying and designing her life around her values.

Living your life around your values does not happen over night and there may be a lot of tough decisions and actions to take along the way, but what many of my clients would tell you it is worth every step.  It is our birthright to live a life we love!

Give yourself one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, the gift that keeps on giving, take the time to discover and design your life around your true values.  Accelerate the process by purchasing  my self coaching guide on A New Approach to Goal Setting.

Click here to find out more.

A New Approach to Goal Setting

Listen to a recording of the MOMentum Conference call:

(20 minutes)

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It’s 26 days before my due date and I almost had my first MOMpreneur emotional meltdown!

My first experience of panic happened today (my midwife suggested that I may have many emotional meltdowns during my pregnancy – so far, so good – not one).  Today however I was very close to breaking that streak. My business is still keeping me pretty busy and my love of  getting together with friends and family continues to fill my down time.  For the last month I have had the intent to simplify my calendar and create some white space to prepare for baby’s arrival.  It’s just not happening.  In the back of my mind I have been thinking I am taking a week off before our due date and my mom will be here for extra help.  Today it hit me WHAT IF BABY COMES EARLY?  I AM NOT PREPARED!

In addition, I began experiencing the Braxton Hicks contractions on a regular basis – talk about making it real.

I read my weekly pregnancy update, http://tinyurl.com/262adq9 this morning.  It covers what I may be experiencing, the growth of the baby and what I should be doing and what I need to do.  (If you are pregnant, I highly encourage you to sign up for this; it is a weekly delight…….most of the time)

The “what I should be doing and what I need to do” got me a little frazzled. We still need to put the car seat in the car.  We are getting curtains for our master bedroom (baby will be sleeping there in her/his bassinet until he/she is ready for the crib).  I added about 5 things to an already long to do list and I have not yet packed my hospital bag!  Between coaching calls I immediately began packing the hospital bag as I thought this would give me an instant sense of control.

I could not finish packing as I realized I need to wash the baby’s clothes that we will bring her/him home in and if I am going to wash those clothes I might as well wash all the baby clothes – but first I need to go buy baby detergent!  My thought process continued..  I should only wash the second hand items and necessities, but not the stuff still in packages or items that still have tags attached, a friend  told me that they grow so fast I might end up having to return some things to buy bigger ones. But if I open everything and remove tags to wash them I’ll end up with a lot of stuff that was never worn. Yes I know, over thinking!  I began to get into a spin.

Being an entrepreneur I am familiar with this feeling of overwhelm and not being sure where to start.  I stopped, took a deep breath, and acted on some strategies that have helped in the past.

1. Call a friend and vent! (tip: do request that you only need an ear and not advice – boy do a lot of people have advice for new moms – yes, I know it is coming from love and care but it can definitely contribute to the emotional meltdown)

2. Write everything down – get the to do list out of your head and on paper

3. Look at your calendar and block in when and where you spend time on your to do list

4. Journal – write about what you are experiencing and what you need to do.

(At this time my journal is my blog – lucky you).

Overwhelm and ongoing to do lists are part of the entrepreneurial world as I am sure it will be as new mom.  No matter how much is going on, how much we are stretching out of our comfort zone, the above 4 steps can give us a sense of relief and control – at least for the time being until we need to go through the steps again!

I know that having a baby will increase my quality of life, and with that in mind, check our complimentary Quality of Life Assessment. Visit www.teresia.com to download your free copy.  Committed to supporting you in living a life you love!

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I am writing my article for the upcoming Coach’s Corner In the Province to be published on June 13^th and I wanted to share this concept with you.  

As an entrepreneur you automatically default to being a leader. Strong leaders always uphold high standards – for themselves and everyone around them.  Why?  Because more often than not, the higher your standards, the better the results.  Clear, well communicated standards are a shortcut to an easier, more focused, less-hassled life.

Personal standards refer to the behaviour and actions that you hold yourself to – how you choose to ’show up’ in life.  For example, we have standards around finances (’I always pay my bills on time’), the way we relate to each other (manners, physical space, etc.), and just about everything else.  Professional standards serve as an unspoken understanding of what behaviour is acceptable and expected.

When standards are too low, people waste a lot of time and energy.  Morale sinks.  People walk all over each other.  Expectations slip and results slide.  A lot of tolerating (and managing) goes on!

Where do you need to raise your standards?  Watch for ongoing tolerations, frustrations, or places that feel out of integrity.  These are red flags for low standards.

Consider the main areas of your business such as sales and marketing, customer service, finances, and identify where clearly communicated standards would make a difference.

• For example:  Customer Service
• Higher Standard: Customers always comes first: return all calls within 24 hours.

Once you’ve identified which standards to raise, document and share them with your employees.  When everyone understands the ground rules, there will be a lot less refereeing to do and great results to be experienced.

Be sure to check out this Sunday’s Province and read the Coaches Corner. Better yet make it a regular Sunday routine and catch the coaches corner each week!

Have you downloaded our complimentary Quality of Life Assessment? Visit www.teresia.com to get your copy.  Take a closer look at your life and where you may benefit by raising your standards.  Take your life to the next level one step at a time.

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There are very few events that truly celebrate and empower the Magnificence of Women, but the Woman of Worth WOW Conference is one of them.  I was honoured to be a keynote speaker at a past WOW event and have attended many events since then and I’d like to invite you to join me this year on May 29th at  the Fairmont Hotel Vancouver.
 
See below, you can still purchase a ticket at a special rate.
 
Imagine the possibilities when you join with 800 empowered women and ignite your body, mind and spirit on every level for an entire day of world-class speakers, entertainment, food, fun, laughter, gifts, prizes, meaningful connections, celebration and … chocolate!
 
Just thinking about it fills me up. I always leave inspired, reenergized and tapped back into the possibilities of my life.
 
This year’s WOW is being MC’d by Kathy Kovacs, news anchor and media personality recently with CTV, and the event also includes a Prosperity Panel facilitated by television producer Candace Newton.  The panel is a dynamic and authentic conversation with a group of highly successful women who are living a life they love.  They face their own challenges, doubts and fears like everyone else, so what are these leaders believing, thinking and doing that allows them to shine?  How do they cope with a bad day?  How have they handled a challenged economy?  How do they make time for a LIFE?  You have the rare opportunity to ask them at WOW.
 
My friend, colleague and former coach, Brita McLaughlin, was honored a few weeks ago by being nominated and named a finalist for the 2010 Woman of Worth Award in the category of Leader of the Year.  Brita has extended an open invitation to me and my circle of women to join one of her “Women with Heart” Tables  (a group of fabulous women with great big hearts) Contact Brita at info@britamclaughlincoaching.com by Friday May 14th and quote ‘Teresia’ as your referral and she’ll add your name to one of the Women with Heart tables of 10 at a special group rate of $143/seat.  (Pssst- Right now the general admission advance price is $189 on the website, full price is $239, so Brita’s price of $143 for reserved seating is a STEAL) 
 
 
It’s THE event of the year for women
http://www.thewowevent.com
 
 
WOW Vancouver 2010
 
The 6th annual Woman Of Worth Conference
 
May 29th at the Fairmont Hotel Vancouver
 
 
Set your soul on fire.
 
 
Get WOWED.
 
 
I look forward to seeing you there!

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Many of us have so many responsibilities in life that we forget to take care of ourselves. While it is challenging to make taking care of ourselves a priority, self care is a vital activity in living our best life, having  great health and managing stress.

 I just came off a very rewarding and busy month. Each day I am grateful I get to do what I do professionally and it provides me with the lifestyle I have, AND I know all you fellow entrepreneurs can relate, at times running a business can be a never ending to do list. I often encourage my clients to block out in their calendar personal priorities first such as vacations throughout the year, quality time with friends and family, exercise etc.  If we do not make these self care activities a priority, our “to do” list can take over.

 This week I am looking forward to a week away at the Kingfisher Oceanside Resort and Spa, a resort nestled snugly in the forest on the eastern shore of Vancouver Island. We will be enjoying spa treatments, yoga classes, an ocean view room, the Pacific Mist Hydropath® (which offers the many benefits of hydrotherapy including remineralization, detoxification, relaxation, in a setting that evokes the Island’s natural seaside elements) - ohh just thinking about it I experience the benefits of self care.  

Here are some benefits that just may have you decide today to put self care at the top off your list:

•  Self care can prevent chronic stress from damaging your health. ( I know many of  us live with chronic stress and are not aware of it)
• Taking time out to care for yourself reinforces self value. Taking time for you can make you feel good about yourself and your life, and conveys to others that you value yourself. This can contribute to long-term feelings of wellbeing.
• Self care makes you happier.  People who neglect their own needs and forget to nurture themselves are at danger of deeper levels of unhappiness, low self-esteem and feelings of resentment.
•  You are a better person to those who are important to you:  when we nurture ourselves we have so much more to give to those we love and care for.
• Time alone allows us to have self reflection and many times our problems work themselves out without the need of focused, stressed concentration.

 Do you make self care a priority? I hope so – you deserve it!

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“Stress is not caused by your busy life or challenging circumstances, it’s simply the result of an imbalance between silence and activity.” ~Jerry Thomas facilitator of silent retreats

We all need time to unplug from our daily activities and plug into the wealth of abundance that silence and retreats can bring to our life.

Is this the time for you to give yourself the gift of extreme self care?

Do you live in the Vancouver area?

On April 29th there is an opportunity for you to be part of an intimate Weekend Retreat designed specifically for women. Unplug from your busy schedule, reconnect, rejuvenate and re-energize yourself

This designated weekend is interspersed with silence by the sea, meditation or contemplation and journaling. Take time just for you while sharing meals with like-minded women. This intimate, personal gathering is available for 12 women only. It is facilitated by Claudette Bouchard, a friend, a mentor and a women who has held the space for me and many other women to step fully into living a life of more love and peace. Claudette’s presence in itself is a vessel to have us reconnect with our inner wisdom and spirituality.

To reserve your spot or further information contact Claudette directly at 604-913-3959 or clodet@telus.net

Claudette Bouchard is a speaker, author of her recent book, “Energy Is Real” , mentor to the young and a Life Energy Coach. She has 25 years experience as an energy consultant with clients throughout Asia, Europe and North America. Throughout these years she has facilitated numerous women’s groups focusing on “connection to self”

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Over the years I have had the great fortune of coaching women who in my opinion are doing it all – a devoted partner, committed to being the best parent they can be and committed to making a difference in the world in their own way, I congratulate them – it takes a lot!

You have heard me say it over and over again; to live your best life you cannot do it alone.

During this time I have also had the privilege of being involved in several organizations that are committed to supporting moms, over the next week I would like to share a few with you and invite you to join me at an upcoming event where I will be sharing my “Success Cup” analogy (strategies to keep your personal cup full and live a life you love).

The first resource I would like to share is:

MOMentum ~Lucila McElroy founder of MOMentum is a women who continues to inspire me. I first met Lucila when I become her coach way back in 1997 and it was a natural next step to ask her to be one of my associate coaches – she became our first in-house career coach. After several yeaRs of working together I was sad but excited to see her move on, as she pursued a life long dream of hers to become a mom. Today, she is a mom of 3 gorgeous girls and committed to making a difference not only with her family but to other moms by offering the opportunities through MOMentum.

“In 2007, as a mom of 3 little girls aged 1, 3 and 5, I was feeling alone and self questioning. Is this it? How can I find fulfillment? Other moms I met echoed my thoughts. This questioning was further compounded by the fact that mothers today feel like they should be able to do it all on their own. I was invited as Kevin’s spouse to go on a retreat with his executive peer support group (TEC)-to discuss business and personal issues. We had a chance to listen to inspiring speakers and take part in a roundtable discussion. I came home feeling alive and inspired. I had an “aha” moment and realized that this is what I was missing in my life as a mother. There was nothing out there like it for mothers (there are other parenting groups and business/networking groups but nothing like an advisory board for mothers). I wanted to recreate the same inspired feeling on a monthly basis and came up with MOMentum. 2 months later it was born. I realize now that my core message has always been to inspire mothers to challenge the status quo, awaken an inner potential and be a force in their worlds. MOMentum is an advisory board for mothers. “

Lucila McElroy – founder MOMentum

It has been my honour to witness the growth and impact of MOMentum and I invite you to be part of an

EVENING OF INSPIRATION AND EXTRAORDINARY CONVERSATION.

MOMentum is an organization that is a catalyst for meaningful conversation, it inspires you to learn, take action and make a difference in your life and those you touch.
 
Learn about MOMentum, meet members and experience the value of monthly participation.
This event is free so you have nothing to lose. 

Let us give you a chance to talk about something that can make a difference in your life right now PLUS hear me talk about what it REALLY takes to live a life you love.

When: Monday March 29th @ 6:30PM
Where: Downtown Vancouver-Please RSVP for location
Space is limited.  To reserve your space email lucila.mcelroy@WeAreMomentum.com
Click here for more about MOMemtum

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Take a minute to sit back and search your mind for a woman you admire. It could be a friend or relative, a teacher or mentor, even a stranger or someone from the distant past.  Ask yourself: What makes her so admirable, so inspiring to me?  What are some of her qualities and natural behaviors that I find attractive?

Most of the people we admire hold themselves to high standards. Personal standards refer to the behavior and actions that you hold yourself to – how you choose to ’show up’ in life. For example, we have standards around our finances (’I always pay my bills on time’), the way we relate to each other (manners, physical space, etc.), and just about everything else.

The important thing to remember is that each person determines their own standards. You can adjust yours in a way that makes life really click.

Here’s a good rule of thumb to remember: the higher your standards, the better your life. They’re a shortcut to an easier, more focused, less-hassled life.

When a person keeps high standards, they feel very good about themselves and others. They naturally attract high-quality people and avoid people and situations that cause problems.

When a person’s standards are too low, their self esteem and sense of worth sinks. They are emotionally drained. People walk all over them. They waste their time and energy. They end up tolerating a lot in their life!

Here’s the bottom line: It’s time to look at the standards you’ve set for your life, and where to make adjustments. This one process can easily and dramatically improve your quality of life and the results you create.

Ready to get started?

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“Man is what he believes.” – Anton Chekhov

 Ask yourself what do you really want in your life? Are you achieving it? If not, there is a good chance that there is a limiting belief  in your subconscious that is holding you back.

Beliefs are feelings of certainty and there are two kinds of beliefs, limiting and empowering. Limiting beliefs are feelings that hold us back from creating the results we want in our life. Empowering beliefs are feelings that support us in moving forward to create the results we want in our life. Many times our beliefs are unconscious. When we become conscious of them, especially our limiting beliefs, that is when change begins to happen.

For example: I have a very successful client whose priority at this time is to share his life and success with a life partner.

Challenge: the women he decides he would like to be with, are unavailable in some way, either they are just ending a relationship, are in a committed relationship or are simply not emotionally available for various reasons.  After much soul searching, and allowing me to ask him the tough questions, he discovered there is an underlying belief that he is not desirable. With this belief he will continue to create experiences in his life to support his belief.  On an unconscious level, he gets to say, “See I am right I am not desirable”.  

Most times we are not always aware of the beliefs that drive us, having the courage to dig deep and become aware is a huge first step. With his new found awareness of his limiting belief he is able to make conscious choices that will create new references that will help him attract what he really wants in his life.

 Think of beliefs like a table. A belief is a feeling of certainty – like the top of a table. We have the legs (references) to support that belief. Once we have awareness of our limiting beliefs we can then come up with a new belief, an empowering belief – one that will support us in creating what we want.

Take my clients limiting belief
 ”I am not desirable”

The opposite of that belief could be
 “I have a lot to offer a partner and deserve the reciprocity of love”

 When we first come up with an empowering belief, we may own it intellectually but not truly on an emotional level. We must then act on the new belief and create references so that it becomes a part of who we are. The power of a belief is that we own it on an emotional level, that it becomes the table top – a feeling of certainty.

Again look at what you want in your life. If you don’t have it, start digging.   What is the limiting belief holding you back?  

Remember awareness is not only the first step, but a big one!

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“Values are you; wants are what you enjoy having. Values fulfill you; wants provide gratification”

~ Thomas Leonard, my late mentor and pioneer of the coaching profession

I love this time of year because I get to share my thoughts on one of my favourite topics of conversations – living a life you love! For most people, January is a month we think about goal setting or new resolutions. Luckily, in these times, we have the great fortune of stepping beyond living a life that meets our basic needs to living a life of extraordinary satisfaction and fulfillment – if we dare to. The resources, opportunities and access to a life coach give no room for excuses to live in the place of “life sucks”.

One of the most important things about life is to know what is most important to you.

When I first became a coach 14 years ago, I was all about goal setting. I would share with my clients “Goal setting is the key to creating what you want in your life; you must be clear of your goals and write them down”. Through my personal journey of consciously creating a life I love and supporting thousands of individuals to do the same, I have discovered that yes, goal setting is important, BUT fruitless unless those goals are set on a foundation of your true values.

To live a life you love and achieve what your heart desires you must first be clear on your values. Let me explain what I mean by that:

Values are the things you do that you find very attractive, an emotional state that you feel is very important. When engaged in these activities you feel most like yourself: in touch with whom you are, glowing, and life is effortless. Values are the essence of who you are.

While we like these things, most of us lead lives, which do not grant us the chance to just do these things. Most people set goals based on ‘have to’, ‘should’ and ‘needs’ and are generally too busy with “responsibilities” or incompletions to pursue the life they truly desire.

Your values are the intangible aspects of life that make you feel in alignment, complete, on track, and functioning at a high level. Examples include adventure, fun, service, creativity, connection, and hundreds more. A life that aligns with one’s core values will feel satisfying, even in difficult times.

When one of my best friends passed away (just after she got married and gave birth to beautiful twins girls), I felt deep sadness and very much immersed in my grief. The loss of what I experienced as a “soulful” friend and the thought of those precious little girls not being raised by their mom was to say the least, very overwhelming.

A few months later I recall sharing with my mastermind team and being in total awe and curiosity around how can I feel this deep sadness but still access feelings of happiness? In the past when I experienced difficult times the negative feelings would dominate my life.

This realization of my new way of being became part of my self analysis for many weeks. I would ask myself how can I be tearful daily, experience this immense grief and still feel a sense of peace and contentment? Perhaps it is that I have a strong spiritual belief system, maybe because I have cultivated supportive relationships in my life? Yes, these were all true but what I realized was at the core, the glue of my satisfaction and contentment was that I have created a life that was aligned with what was most important to me: my values. (Spirituality and strong supportive authentic connections are a couple examples of my values). Living a life that was deeply fulfilling was a huge part in my ability to still function and find the strength in myself to be able to step out of myself and be there for the dad and the twins in the best way I knew how. My personal foundation of a life aligned with my values allowed me to access my inner strength and receive and give the support during this trying time.

When we live a life aligned with our values there are many gifts to be experienced:

• our cup is full and we have so much more to give others

• we live our life from a place of “attraction” vs. force. We begin to attract like minded individuals and opportunities in our life

• we do not spend as much time on making decisions – when you are clear of your values it is easy to decide the next best step

• we create results in our life with less effort

• we live from a place of joy and gratitude

• when challenges come our way – we can still be happy. (Have you ever met someone who just got fired from their job, going through a divorce, or experiencing a health challenge and they still exude joy. Now that is living a successful life.)

When we consciously design our life aligned with our values, life gets immeasurably richer – and easier.

OK, have I enrolled you in living a life aligned with your values? So how do we do that? First you have to get clear on what your values are. Gaining clarity of your values and designing your life around them is a process.

It does not happen over night. I first heard about the concept of values in 1995 when I had my first stint with the Anthony Robbins group and even though I was eager to live life at this new level of passion of fulfillment, it took me many years before I achieved it. When we commit to living a life aligned with our values, really commit, there is a journey of self transformation that happens.

Here is what happens (if you like it or not )

• you begin on a path of self exploration and self discovery

• you must first get your personal needs met (needs in this context is simply put, the things you require on a regular basis in order to do your best work and feel good about yourself.)

• You must be open to healing any unhealed emotional wounds

• You must become comfortable with the concept of “selfishness before success”

I will explore the above topics in future articles but for now I encourage you to give yourself the gift of beginning to discover your values. Begin this journey now – give yourself and those around you the gift of a more joyful and satisfying life.

Coaches request:

As you go through the next month, think about how you would complete this sentence:

“If I had plenty of free time and all the money I could ever want, then I would be free to (action)_and that would let me experience more _(value)_.

Do this exercise over and over to help you identify the aspects of your life that you value most. Keep track of your answers… they’re the roadmap to your life!

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, nowadays we have the great fortune of stepping beyond living a life that meets our basic needs to living a life of extraordinary satisfaction and fulfillment – my question to you…Do you dare to?

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