Teresia's Blog

Last week I facilitated a conference call for the MOMentum organization founded by Lucila McElory on living your life aligned with your values.

Many of you know how passionate I am about designing your life around your true values. When we live a life according to what is most important to us (our values) we become very happy people.  My hubby and I both agree that the true purpose of life is to live a happy one, when we are happy we have so much more to give to those around us, and when we have an abundance to give, we naturally live our life on purpose.

OK that is our philosophy and we are sticking to it – at least in this moment

During the conference call with the MOMentum moms, I shared the distinction between means vs ends values. There were a lot of questions.  It inspired me to share a little more of that conversation.

Often, when I ask someone “what is most important to you in your life?” (a great question to uncover values) they will say things like family, having a beautiful home, my career, traveling, my marriage.  These are examples of means values – means values are vehicles that allow us to have an experience. Ends Values are the “experiences”.

For example, all your life you dreamed of being an entrepreneur – having a career where you were your own boss, working from home.  You achieved that goal but still do not feel fulfilled.  Why? Owning a business is a vehicle to something that is more important to you. The ends value (the experience) you may be looking for is “freedom”,  “independence.”  Until you are clear of the purpose of your goal it is a crap shoot if your goal will bring you satisfaction.

Another example, if your goal is to be married (means value) it may be a the vehicle  to experience sharing, connection.  You find yourself married, but unhappy, there is no connection and very little sharing.  Being aware of the ends value, we can consciously design our relationship to experience those values.

A client once said to me “Teresia, success looks the way I thought it would look but it does not feel the way I thought it would feel.” Unfortunately I know many people who can relate to her statement.  Guess what became the focus of our work together?  Clarifying and designing her life around her values.

Living your life around your values does not happen over night and there may be a lot of tough decisions and actions to take along the way, but what many of my clients would tell you it is worth every step.  It is our birthright to live a life we love!

Give yourself one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, the gift that keeps on giving, take the time to discover and design your life around your true values.  Accelerate the process by purchasing  my self coaching guide on A New Approach to Goal Setting.

Click here to find out more.

A New Approach to Goal Setting

Listen to a recording of the MOMentum Conference call:

(20 minutes)

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Know Your Values and Priorities

Sometimes, ambitious people need to slow the pace and harness their need to achieve in order to embrace other aspects of life. Like it or not, that’s called balance – and I think my pregnancy enrolled me in an advanced course at the School of Balancing Priorities.

More often than not, priorities come down to values. Because I strongly value family ( sharing and connection), it’s easier to set aside my professional ambitions (for the first time in my adult life – eek!). Because I value time with our child, it will be easier to close the office door.

Our values are a touchstone, a source of comfort and guidance that we can relax into and trust to steer us toward the life we really want. The more intense life gets, the more important they become.

When we are clear of our values it is easier to make decisions. We know what is important – we then say yes to what is important and no to the “shoulds” in our life.

What are your values? Discovering your values is a process. Check out our self coaching ebook on discovering and designing your life around your values.

A New Approach to Goal Setting

With all that said, the fact remains: Mompreneurs live on the fast track, and it’s going to take some time to adjust to a new pace. With knowing my values I am sure making the transition from entrepreneur to Mompreneur could be my biggest challenge yet… but I’m ready for it!

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Construct a Container around the Business. 

This has been a message I have shared with every entrepreneur I have worked with. To experience balance and not be a servant to your business, you need boundaries.

When I’m with my child, I want to be 100% present, not dashing in and out of my home office to check e-mail, or planning a proposal in my mind as I sing lullabies.

The only way to do it is to declare my office hours – and KEEP them. I know this. The problem is that, until now, the business has been my baby. I’ve been on call 24/7, always available, devoted and attentive. Now, I’m just going to have to get comfortable with the idea that on some days, the “to do” list just might not get done. Waaaahhhhh.

Decide what your business hours are. As the owner of your business you can set it up exactly the way that you want. Are you a morning person, do you prefer to start early in the morning and be done by 2:00? Is Saturday mornings an option? Are evenings off limits because this is family time?

Decide your business hours now and educate your family and clients.

Design your business so that your business is serving your ideal lifestyle and you are not being a servant to your business.

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I am going to be a mom!

Am I excited? Yes! Am I grateful? Yes!! Do I have fears? YES!

For years I’ve told women just like myself – ambitious, established, and full of vision – that they CAN have it all, and keep a firm grip on their sanity too. Every fiber of my being believed it, and every day I helped women achieve it.

And yet today, as my belly swells bigger with every passing moment, I must confess: making the move from entrepreneur to Mompreneur looks like a tremendously daunting step!

Can I really do it all? Will I always be exhausted? Will the stress of being a new mom with a thriving business destroy my zest for life? Will I lose my passion for the work I do? How will I balance the demands of my business “baby” and my real-life, crying-in-the-next-room, needs-a-diaper-change-NOW baby?

These are the things that keep me up at night. (Well, ok – the heartburn does too.) But, when the fears subside and the next morning arrives, I stand up straight and tell myself, “Teresia, put on your big girl shoes and go make it happen!”

To tell the truth, there’s no reason to fear. As all my friends will tell you, I am a planner; a super-planner in fact. I designed my nanny plan and postpartum workout plan over a year ago. So it probably comes as no surprise that I’ve been working on strategies to help me through the transition from entrepreneur to Mompreneur. 

Yes, true to form, I’m bringing my professional principles into my pregnancy.  Here are some key ones that I’m counting on.  

Support Makes All the Difference

Women often find it hard to ask for and accept help, which is unfortunate because to truly do it all, we need an abundance of support. (And I am not talking about a good bra, although I sure could use a good one right now – my boobs have never been so big! (Ok I digress)

Whether you’re pregnant or not, do yourself a favor and S.E.T. yourself up with three critical kinds of support:

S: Strategic Support helps us shorten the learning curve, find resources and create faster, better results. It could come from a colleague, someone with more or different experience, a mentor, coach, mastermind group, even someone you hire such as an webmaster or ghostwriter.  Collaboration lets you do a lot more with less time, and that’s what every Mompreneur can use, right?

E: Emotional Support is something that every single person on this planet needs. Women seem to need an extra dose on occasion (okay, daily). But for a woman with a lot on her plate, emotional support is even more important. And if you’re an entrepreneurial woman with high standards and ambitions, well… emotional support is like oxygen! Make it a priority to build and lean on your emotional support team – a soul community of intimate, like-minded women who give you permission and encouragement to be all that you want to be. We owe it to ourselves to establish relationships at that level – because we need it.

T: Task Support comes from those who help us get things done – an assistant, housekeeper, babysitter, even the helping hands of those we love. This kind of support gives us more time and energy for the things that matter most. Did you know that the average woman in a family of four devotes 20-25 hours a week to running her household? That’s a lot of time! Is this the best use of your time? Work on your delegation skills, as well as systematization and automation. Get creative and dare to do things differently.

I used this model to help me build my business, but in truth, it applies to all areas of life – even my maiden voyage into the wild seas of Mompreneurship. “Honey, I’m going to need a lot of support through this transition… can you say, ‘Daddy Saturdays?’

Having the proper support system is key to making any dream come true!

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A few years ago I had the opportunity to meet the editor of the Mompreneur magazine, Kathryn Bechthold, and I was very inspired by her vision of having a resource for moms who run businesses. I immediately wanted to get involved, and for the last three years I have been a regular writer for the publication.  Watch for my next article in the latest issue, on the newstands now.

It is one of the magazines I receive that I cannot wait to grab my tea, snuggle up and read from cover to cover.

Are you a mom? Are you an entrepreneur? If yes, then this magazine is a must for your regular reading.

Visit http://www.themompreneur.com  to get your bimonthly subscription and tap into all the resources available.

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Over the years I have had the great fortune of coaching women who in my opinion are doing it all – a devoted partner, committed to being the best parent they can be and committed to making a difference in the world in their own way, I congratulate them – it takes a lot!

You have heard me say it over and over again; to live your best life you cannot do it alone.

During this time I have also had the privilege of being involved in several organizations that are committed to supporting moms, over the next week I would like to share a few with you and invite you to join me at an upcoming event where I will be sharing my “Success Cup” analogy (strategies to keep your personal cup full and live a life you love).

The first resource I would like to share is:

MOMentum ~Lucila McElroy founder of MOMentum is a women who continues to inspire me. I first met Lucila when I become her coach way back in 1997 and it was a natural next step to ask her to be one of my associate coaches – she became our first in-house career coach. After several yeaRs of working together I was sad but excited to see her move on, as she pursued a life long dream of hers to become a mom. Today, she is a mom of 3 gorgeous girls and committed to making a difference not only with her family but to other moms by offering the opportunities through MOMentum.

“In 2007, as a mom of 3 little girls aged 1, 3 and 5, I was feeling alone and self questioning. Is this it? How can I find fulfillment? Other moms I met echoed my thoughts. This questioning was further compounded by the fact that mothers today feel like they should be able to do it all on their own. I was invited as Kevin’s spouse to go on a retreat with his executive peer support group (TEC)-to discuss business and personal issues. We had a chance to listen to inspiring speakers and take part in a roundtable discussion. I came home feeling alive and inspired. I had an “aha” moment and realized that this is what I was missing in my life as a mother. There was nothing out there like it for mothers (there are other parenting groups and business/networking groups but nothing like an advisory board for mothers). I wanted to recreate the same inspired feeling on a monthly basis and came up with MOMentum. 2 months later it was born. I realize now that my core message has always been to inspire mothers to challenge the status quo, awaken an inner potential and be a force in their worlds. MOMentum is an advisory board for mothers. “

Lucila McElroy – founder MOMentum

It has been my honour to witness the growth and impact of MOMentum and I invite you to be part of an

EVENING OF INSPIRATION AND EXTRAORDINARY CONVERSATION.

MOMentum is an organization that is a catalyst for meaningful conversation, it inspires you to learn, take action and make a difference in your life and those you touch.
 
Learn about MOMentum, meet members and experience the value of monthly participation.
This event is free so you have nothing to lose. 

Let us give you a chance to talk about something that can make a difference in your life right now PLUS hear me talk about what it REALLY takes to live a life you love.

When: Monday March 29th @ 6:30PM
Where: Downtown Vancouver-Please RSVP for location
Space is limited.  To reserve your space email lucila.mcelroy@WeAreMomentum.com
Click here for more about MOMemtum

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