Teresia's Blog

“Values are you; wants are what you enjoy having. Values fulfill you; wants provide gratification”

~ Thomas Leonard, my late mentor and pioneer of the coaching profession

I love this time of year because I get to share my thoughts on one of my favourite topics of conversations – living a life you love! For most people, January is a month we think about goal setting or new resolutions. Luckily, in these times, we have the great fortune of stepping beyond living a life that meets our basic needs to living a life of extraordinary satisfaction and fulfillment – if we dare to. The resources, opportunities and access to a life coach give no room for excuses to live in the place of “life sucks”.

One of the most important things about life is to know what is most important to you.

When I first became a coach 14 years ago, I was all about goal setting. I would share with my clients “Goal setting is the key to creating what you want in your life; you must be clear of your goals and write them down”. Through my personal journey of consciously creating a life I love and supporting thousands of individuals to do the same, I have discovered that yes, goal setting is important, BUT fruitless unless those goals are set on a foundation of your true values.

To live a life you love and achieve what your heart desires you must first be clear on your values. Let me explain what I mean by that:

Values are the things you do that you find very attractive, an emotional state that you feel is very important. When engaged in these activities you feel most like yourself: in touch with whom you are, glowing, and life is effortless. Values are the essence of who you are.

While we like these things, most of us lead lives, which do not grant us the chance to just do these things. Most people set goals based on ‘have to’, ‘should’ and ‘needs’ and are generally too busy with “responsibilities” or incompletions to pursue the life they truly desire.

Your values are the intangible aspects of life that make you feel in alignment, complete, on track, and functioning at a high level. Examples include adventure, fun, service, creativity, connection, and hundreds more. A life that aligns with one’s core values will feel satisfying, even in difficult times.

When one of my best friends passed away (just after she got married and gave birth to beautiful twins girls), I felt deep sadness and very much immersed in my grief. The loss of what I experienced as a “soulful” friend and the thought of those precious little girls not being raised by their mom was to say the least, very overwhelming.

A few months later I recall sharing with my mastermind team and being in total awe and curiosity around how can I feel this deep sadness but still access feelings of happiness? In the past when I experienced difficult times the negative feelings would dominate my life.

This realization of my new way of being became part of my self analysis for many weeks. I would ask myself how can I be tearful daily, experience this immense grief and still feel a sense of peace and contentment? Perhaps it is that I have a strong spiritual belief system, maybe because I have cultivated supportive relationships in my life? Yes, these were all true but what I realized was at the core, the glue of my satisfaction and contentment was that I have created a life that was aligned with what was most important to me: my values. (Spirituality and strong supportive authentic connections are a couple examples of my values). Living a life that was deeply fulfilling was a huge part in my ability to still function and find the strength in myself to be able to step out of myself and be there for the dad and the twins in the best way I knew how. My personal foundation of a life aligned with my values allowed me to access my inner strength and receive and give the support during this trying time.

When we live a life aligned with our values there are many gifts to be experienced:

• our cup is full and we have so much more to give others

• we live our life from a place of “attraction” vs. force. We begin to attract like minded individuals and opportunities in our life

• we do not spend as much time on making decisions – when you are clear of your values it is easy to decide the next best step

• we create results in our life with less effort

• we live from a place of joy and gratitude

• when challenges come our way – we can still be happy. (Have you ever met someone who just got fired from their job, going through a divorce, or experiencing a health challenge and they still exude joy. Now that is living a successful life.)

When we consciously design our life aligned with our values, life gets immeasurably richer – and easier.

OK, have I enrolled you in living a life aligned with your values? So how do we do that? First you have to get clear on what your values are. Gaining clarity of your values and designing your life around them is a process.

It does not happen over night. I first heard about the concept of values in 1995 when I had my first stint with the Anthony Robbins group and even though I was eager to live life at this new level of passion of fulfillment, it took me many years before I achieved it. When we commit to living a life aligned with our values, really commit, there is a journey of self transformation that happens.

Here is what happens (if you like it or not )

• you begin on a path of self exploration and self discovery

• you must first get your personal needs met (needs in this context is simply put, the things you require on a regular basis in order to do your best work and feel good about yourself.)

• You must be open to healing any unhealed emotional wounds

• You must become comfortable with the concept of “selfishness before success”

I will explore the above topics in future articles but for now I encourage you to give yourself the gift of beginning to discover your values. Begin this journey now – give yourself and those around you the gift of a more joyful and satisfying life.

Coaches request:

As you go through the next month, think about how you would complete this sentence:

“If I had plenty of free time and all the money I could ever want, then I would be free to (action)_and that would let me experience more _(value)_.

Do this exercise over and over to help you identify the aspects of your life that you value most. Keep track of your answers… they’re the roadmap to your life!

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, nowadays we have the great fortune of stepping beyond living a life that meets our basic needs to living a life of extraordinary satisfaction and fulfillment – my question to you…Do you dare to?

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“When our life is oriented around our true values, that is when we live a life of ease, passion and fulfillment”

~ Teresia LaRocque, MCC

Happy New Year! Now that we are on the tail end of a holiday season and welcoming in a New Year I bet many of you are thinking of New Year resolutions or wanting to do some goals setting for 2010.

I wanted to write this quick posting so that you have access to the resource below to support you in making 2010 your best year yet!

But wait before you start thinking about creating what you want in 2010 – I want to check in and ask did you take time to reflect and celebrate 2009? So many of us rush onto what is next and don’t take the time to acknowledge and reflect on our precious life experiences. If you have not taken this time – stop right now and read my article Reflect Back and Celebrate Your Year on my blog and give yourself the gift of creating a strong foundation for 2010.

Ok if you have done that and are ready to begin creating what you REALLY want in 2010 I have the perfect self-coaching guide (if I have to say so myself ) to assist you in creating a blueprint for a rewarding 2010!.

So many people start the New Year with a heart full of good intentions and a list full of resolutions, but the sad truth is that fewer than half of those resolutions will ever be met. Why is that? Over the past 14 years, my work as a life and business coach has given me a front-row seat to watch the ways that people set goals and respond to them, and how they create lasting results in their lives. In the process, I stumbled onto an interesting insight: most people set uninspiring goals and spend more time struggling through life than truly enjoying it. Can you relate?

This year decide to have a different experience.

Have you ever achieved a goal and not felt fulfilled?

Have you ever set goals only to forget about them?

Have you ever questioned why you do what you do for a living?

Do you wish you had more passion in your life?

Have you ever thought that a love for life is only for other people?

What I want for you in 2010 is to generate results in the easiest, most engaging way.

I encourage you to ditch the New Years Resolutions and traditional goal setting techniques and take the time to set valued based goals!

For those of you who have been long term subscribers of our community or have worked with me as your coach in the past, there’s a good chance that you have heard me shamelessly promote the process of taking the time to discover your true values. It’s this process of setting goals that I find to be the most effective way for living a life you love.

I’ve taken what I have learned from my personal commitment to living my best life and coaching hundreds of people over the last 14 years and authored a self-coaching Ebook  ‘A New Approach to Goal Setting’. Click here for more information.

This is a self-coaching e-book that helps you identify what’s most important to you, and teaches you how to design your life according to your values. It just might be the fastest, easiest way to boost your life to a whole new level, and it will certainly give you a fresh new perspective on your New Year’s Resolutions!

I highly encourage you to give yourself the gift this season of this personal self discovery process. For a discounted rate of $19.97 (regular price $29.00) you can literally transform how you live your life! (I have discounted the rate in hopes this will help you decide to give yourself this gift of working through this life changing process.)

Block out some uninterrupted time this month and work through A New Approach to Goal Setting ebook and set a foundation for a successful and rewarding 2010!

Get Your Own Copy Of A New Approach To Goal Setting by clicking here.

To hear a personal message from me about how to set sustainable goals, please click below:

Stay tuned for January’s article on more information on living your life aligned with your values!

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On November 6th as I was out doing some errands, I had to shake my head as it dawned on me that in the background was Christmas music. I swear each year the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier. After my first reaction “is this not a little early”? I immediately had a smile on my face as the Christmas seasons highlights some of my most important values: sharing and connection.

During this time of year, we’re all focused on rituals for the holidays. Decorations are the momentos we bring out every year to set our holiday spirit. Many people have rituals such as going to see the Christmas lights, a Christmas play or children’s recitals. Rituals play a key role in our lives, especially during the holiday season.

This year, I recommend you add another ritual: take some time to close out 2009 and open the door to 2010. If you have been part of my community in the past you know that a year has not passed where I do not encourage this ritual.

In our fast-paced lives, as we begin to approach a new year we have a tendency to start thinking about “what’s next” long before we wrap up what we’re currently working on. While this can be a strategic way to keep things moving, it can also rob us of the opportunity to reap the full rewards of the journey we’ve been on. There is great richness and depth to be found when you take time to really look at your recent experiences.

Some of the greatest gifts we can give others are the “gift of time” and the “gift of acknowledgement”.

What if this holiday season you gave yourself the above gifts? What if you set a special date with yourself to reflect, acknowledge and celebrate all that 2009 brought to your life?

Take time to look back and see how far you’ve come. Honor the progress you’ve made in 2009, the goals you met, even the challenges you encountered along the way, and sift through it all to find the lessons learned. These bits and pieces can add up to tremendous realizations that will help you launch into the year to come.

Acknowledging yourself and appreciating your growth process is a core component of enjoying life. Stepping back helps us see the bigger picture and maintain perspective on what we want, where we’re going, and how we want to get there.

Grab your journal, a friend, or your partner and take some time to consider these questions to guide you in reviewing the previous year and setting yourself up for a spectacular 2010.

What were your greatest successes?

• Think of the most important areas of your life what are you most proud of or what have you accomplished in each area?
• Did you meet or exceed your financial goals?
• Did you accomplish a near impossible work project?
• Did you take a vacation to a country you had always wanted to visit?

Remember to celebrate! What will you do in the next 30 days to acknowledge your successes?

How have you evolved? Who have you become?

• Are you more loving?
• More patient?
• Were you more courageous, adventuress, in 2009?

Coaches tip: Who we become is much more powerful than what we accomplish…

What are you most grateful for in 2009?

This time of year is a great time to count our blessings and be thankful for what we have in our life. What is on your gratitude list?

What were the five most important lessons you learned this year? 

What do you know now that you didn’t know as you entered 2009? These lessons can be the result of good or bad things happening. Use your “lessons learned” to accentuate the positive and avoid the negative as you focus on 2010.

What important things do you want to accomplish or change about your life during 2010?

Take sometime to brainstorm – write whatever comes to mind. Then prioritize.

What items on your list could be accomplished more easily with the help of other people? 

Identify three people who can help you with each accomplishment or the changes you’d like to make. Write down their names along with a deadline to contact them. Know very precisely how you would like them to help you. Enlisting the help of others can be a powerful way to make things happen. You do not have to do it alone!

Who are the people in your life that have made the biggest difference to you this past year? 

Make a list of who has played a pivotal role in your life. How could you show them your appreciation? A few years ago, as a gift to the people closest to me I gave them a list of 25 reasons (25 days of Christmas) why I loved and appreciated them. A gift from the heart goes a long way………….

Ask yourself, honestly, what could you do that would bring more joy into your daily life and what do you need to do to get that started?

Make a list and keep it where you will be reminded daily of how you can bring more joy in to your life. Remember the simplest things in life can bring us the most joy.

May you have a joyous and fulfilling holiday Season.

Warmly, Teresia

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Setting value-based goals will help you move forward, rather than concentrating on the “to do” list that you know you just don’t want to tackle.

So, how do you determine which goals align with your values? First you have to get clear on what your values are.

Your values are the intangible aspects of life that make you feel in alignment, complete, on track, and functioning at a high level. Examples include adventure, fun, service, creativity, connection, and hundreds more. A life that aligns with one’s core values will feel satisfying, even in difficult times.

Because this topic of values can be a little confusing, let’s make a distinction between “means values” and “end values.” Means values are a way to get to end values. For example, I often have clients tell me they value family; but with a little further exploration, we discover that the underlying value (which extends beyond family) is really connection, belonging, or community. Family is one way to experience what they truly value in life.

When you set goals to experience more of what you value most, life gets immeasurably richer – and easier! If you value adventure, and you want to lose 10 pounds, don’t vow to be at the gym every morning – get out and do something adventurous! If you value connection, and you want to make more money this year, find a job that pays you to develop relationships. Let your values lead you forward toward the life you really want, and make this year your best one yet.

Questions to Explore:

As you go through the next month, think about how you would complete this sentence:

If I had plenty of free time and all the money I could ever want, then I would be free to (action)_ and that would let me experience more _(value)_.

Do this exercise over and over to help you identify the aspects of life that you value most. Keep track of your answers… they’re the roadmap to an increased quality of life – your life!

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As the New Year approaches, we are coming to a time when most people decide to reassess the way they have been living their life, and make some changes. So many of us start the New Year with a heart full of good intentions and a list full of resolutions, but the sad truth is that fewer than half of those resolutions will ever be met. Why is that?

Over the past 13 years, my work as a life and business coach has given me a front-row seat to watch the ways that people set goals and respond to them, and how they create lasting results in their lives. In the process, I stumbled onto an interesting insight: most people set uninspiring goals and spend more time struggling through life then truly enjoying it.

Nine times out of 10, people set goals that are based on what they “have to” get done or what they “should” do: lose the weight, organize the files, get the website up and running. They take all the unpleasant things they’ve been avoiding, and make an agreement with themselves to push through and finally get them done. “Push through” is key phrase here – it’s the feeling behind most goals. No wonder we don’t tend to keep our resolutions!

If you’re ready to generate results in the easiest, most engaging way possible,  and achieve your dreams, it’s time to take a fresh look at the entire concept of goals and resolutions. Instead of resolving to get the dirty work done, how about resolving to live a more enjoyable life by increasing your quality of life?

What if you set goals that naturally inspire you?

What if the very idea of your resolution made you want to take action on it?

 What if you chose goals that excite you, ones that light you up from the inside?

Over the years I have supported thousands of people in doing just that, and the key is to set goals that correspond with your own values – the things are most important to you, personally. Goals based on your values are the easiest and most rewarding ones to achieve. Why?  Because you don’t have to “push through” them. You want to do them. They make you reach higher, move faster, and engage more of yourself – and they feel good!

Sounds pretty good, right? So, how do you determine which goals align with your values? First you have to get clear on what your values are.

Stay tuned for the next blog on goal setting to begin to explore your values.

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