Teresia's Blog

 Did you know we have a day that celebrates women?

March 8, 2010 is International Women’s Day – The 2010 Theme is Progress for All.

International Women’s Day has been observed since in the early 1900’s, a time of great expansion and turbulence in the industrialized world that saw booming population growth and the rise of radical ideologies.

In the last few years of being a coach I have naturally been drawn to coaching more and more women. You may have read in past articles where I have alluded to the growth of women, how their success and contributions to the world has dramatically increased in the last two decades. Recent media articles have talked about “womenomics” the concept that male dominance in the workplace is being replaced by the fact that women account for 80% of all purchasing decisions and that women, may soon be primary breadwinners. Did you know that Canada is the fastest growing country for self employed professional women and it has tripled in the last two decades? In Canada one in 10 executives is a woman, and in the US one in five executives is a woman.

I am truly inspired! As women, we are truly stepping up to do it all! And………….. it is not always easy. In the spirit of ‘women supporting women’ I have most recently teamed up with a long time friend and colleague Cheryl Cran and we have launched a unique program for women entrepreneurs and leaders called Triple M Mastermind: Mind Money and a Life of meaning. This ongoing program is unique in its format in that a group of 8 women form a high level mastermind to assist each other in leadership and help those who own their own businesses, grow them to the next level. We believe that the next progress for all women is related to women supporting women to achieve bigger results. Celebrating women and their achievements in a non-competitive environment is a huge factor in the Triple M Mastermind and for women to create progress for all.

I have personally experienced through my own mastermind team and teaming up with other like-minded women, that the ability to receive help, collaborate and be in an supportive, non competitive environment that not only encourages, but demands thinking big, is a critical factor in women achieving success without a personal cost.

Today, on International Women’s Day, I celebrate the relationship I have with my mother, the sacred women friendships I have in my life, the women who are part of my TLC team, the inspiring, supportive business partnership I have with Cheryl and the all the women that I have had the honour of partnering up with as their coach, to witness their courage and commitment to live their best life.

Mom and I

Celebrating with friends

When women come together to support women, what I know for sure is that you get more done with less effort and it is a lot more fun!

“After just two sessions working with Teresia and Cheryl my whole business has turned around. I knew I needed help, I have always been successful but I had lost my confidence, my attitude was failing me and my business was slowly deteriorating. When I started working with Teresia and Cheryl I was so ready to get help and help is what they gave me. Just one month later my confidence is way up, business is pouring in. I am stronger, more capable and I have cleared the path to regaining my success. The combination of Teresia and Cheryl is dynamic. “

Adri Miller-Heckman

Want to double your results in half the time? Cheryl and Teresia offer Team coaching. Teresia LaRocque MCC coach and Cheryl Cran CSP consultant are two highly successful entrepreneurs both in business for over fifteen years. Team coaching with Teresia and Cheryl is unlike any coaching out there- you get the one-two power of two highly successful business professionals AND you get double the results.

To find out more about Triple M Mastermind or Team coaching email us at mastermind@teresia.com

Visit our Triple M Mastermind and be sure to join our community and receive a free monthly newsletter and instant access to an audio on the power of masterminding and how it is different than coaching.

We were featured on the Fanny Kiefer Show!

Cheryl Cran and I were guests on the Fanny Kiefer show  in January talking about our Triple M Mastermind Program. Check it out and hear about what is impacting women’s success in 2010.

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Take a minute to sit back and search your mind for a woman you admire. It could be a friend or relative, a teacher or mentor, even a stranger or someone from the distant past.  Ask yourself: What makes her so admirable, so inspiring to me?  What are some of her qualities and natural behaviors that I find attractive?

Most of the people we admire hold themselves to high standards. Personal standards refer to the behavior and actions that you hold yourself to – how you choose to ’show up’ in life. For example, we have standards around our finances (’I always pay my bills on time’), the way we relate to each other (manners, physical space, etc.), and just about everything else.

The important thing to remember is that each person determines their own standards. You can adjust yours in a way that makes life really click.

Here’s a good rule of thumb to remember: the higher your standards, the better your life. They’re a shortcut to an easier, more focused, less-hassled life.

When a person keeps high standards, they feel very good about themselves and others. They naturally attract high-quality people and avoid people and situations that cause problems.

When a person’s standards are too low, their self esteem and sense of worth sinks. They are emotionally drained. People walk all over them. They waste their time and energy. They end up tolerating a lot in their life!

Here’s the bottom line: It’s time to look at the standards you’ve set for your life, and where to make adjustments. This one process can easily and dramatically improve your quality of life and the results you create.

Ready to get started?

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I don’t know about you but I have been inspired by the 2010 Olympics.  It doesn’t hurt that I live in the city that hosted them; Canada had a story book finish with Canada winning hockey gold and scoring Olympic record of 14 gold medals.

To top it all off I was at the closing ceremonies. It also brings back many great memories of my competitive years as a figure skater. But it goes deeper then that. The Olympics uncover some key factors that are important for success in any area of our life. 

On a social level the Olympics highlights the power of “we”.

Nelson Mandela once said “politics divides, sports unite”.  Sports encourage leadership, the development of social skills, learning how to manage a stressful situation; most importantly teaching that personal sacrifices in service of the group often brings greater rewards than simple self interest.  Whether you are involved in a sport personally, or an outside supporter, there is an experience of “we” that is available to all of us. As an entrepreneur, an individual committed to living their best life, there is an experience of we that is available to all of us.

I have heard from many who have watched the athletes step up to their long desired dream of competing in the Olympics, that it has brought tears to their eyes. We are reminded of what is possible in our own life. The Olympics remind us of the rewards of courage, self-discipline and belief in oneself.

I know any success that I have experienced in my life and my clients have experienced in theirs, that these qualities were present. They are worth exploring further.

Courage: I once heard courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyways – how true!
Courage is needed when you have a sense of what you hope to achieve but there is no guarantee – in other words there is a level of risk involved. Acting in spite of the risk often brings up less than uncomfortable feelings, feelings such as fear, self doubt, uncertainty, and discomfort. So what drives one to act in spite of the feelings? Simply put—values. When you have a strong belief about the right thing to do, or what is important to you, you’re often compelled to act. At the end of the day the question is: are you letting your fear guide you or your desire to act on what is most important to you?

Living a life where you are consistently stretching out of your comfort zone and accessing your inner courage, not only builds self esteem but is the path of living our best life.

Self-discipline:
Most people don’t associate discipline with happiness, but did you know the most joy you’ll ever know comes from areas where you are self-disciplined? People who have significant and successful careers can often point back to a time that required much effort and self-discipline. They often say it was worth every ounce of effort. Becoming self-disciplined is never easy in the beginning, but once you overcome a barrier and make a decision to become disciplined, it gets easier. I often tell my clients self discipline is doing the things you don’t necessarily want to do, but you know by doing them, they will help you get the results you want. I support my clients in designing their life around doing what they love and what they are good at – when we do this the amount of self discipline is minimal AND to really live a life we love there will always be areas where we need to embrace the act of self-discipline. Simple put self-discipline is about the ability to reject immediate satisfaction, in order to gain something better, but requires effort and time. Decide today where in your life you would benefit greatly if you were to become more self-disciplined. Where do you want more or better results? Start today by saying “no” to immediate satisfaction and start implementing that extra effort to create more of what you really want in your life.

Belief in oneself:
We have all heard it at one time in our lives “you have to believe in yourself.” Believing in oneself is one of the first steps to success. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, it will be difficult to succeed in anything. Every day all of us face challenges, some small, small big, it is how we respond to it them that makes the difference. Whatever your goal or dream, hold onto the vision, and take one step at a time. When you feel the fear and act anyway (courage), and make self-discipline a part of your life, this builds the muscle of belief in yourself.

My question to you: have you set your life up in a way that daily you are accessing your inner courage? Are you living a life that requires self-discipline and faith in oneself daily?

Success and a fulfilling life require the attitude and commitment of an athlete.

What area in your life is it time to go for gold?

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Did you know next week is the The 2010 International Coaching Week? Created in 1999, ICW exists to provide a time to educate the public about the value of working with a professional coach and an opportunity for coaches and their clients to acknowledge the results and progress made through coaching. Since the inception of coaching there was a time when the concept was hardly known to today where hiring an outside coach has become quite common. There has been tremendous progress in coaching in the two decades. Having been a coach for almost 15years I have seen a trend in what my clients need and benefit most from. I call it the “we” space.

All my professional life I have been intrigued by the Power of We. Being a solo entrepreneur I intuitively knew in order to create the experiences my heart desired and make the level of difference I was committed to making I could not do it alone. Since the inception of my business, I have started and been part of many groups, a few that have really have transformed my life are: The Author Circle, Cloudnine Mastermind; The Family of Women and my TLC team. Shared experiences touch us on the deepest levels. Having these experiences has been the catalyst for expanding my coaching practice from a 1-1 coaching model to incorporating environments of “we” space for my clients. One program that I most excited about is our www.Triplemmastermind.com program.

In support of International Coach Week my colleague and I, Cheryl Cran are offering a complimentary call on February 10th on the 3 Trends for Women in Business in 2010 and will be launching our Triple M Mastermind: Mind * Money * Life of Meaning on February 26th. Sign up for the free call can be found at http://www.Triplemmastermind.com . This unique program is specifically for women executives or women entrepreneurs as research has indicated women’s innate values are collaboration, connection and community. It is these values that women are looking for in their work and in their lives. There is a new way of gaining success where women can leverage their time, let go of the lone ranger mentality and get results with ease and effortlessness!

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With Valentine’s Day around the corner I like to look at February as Love Month!

Whether you are in an intimate relationship, or take the opportunity on Valentine’s Day to honour a special relationship in your life (your best friend, mom, dad, brother, sister or perhaps even the relationship with yourself) may the concept below support you in experience the connection we all deserve.

On some level we all crave intimacy; the need to love and be loved. Yet we have so much trouble experiencing it. The other day, I was at a friend’s place and we were working on a project together. Her husband came home and she said “hi hon” and we continued working. I half jokingly said “what if you got up and physically greeted him and showed him how happy you were he was home?”

She said “are you serious”? But then quickly said, “you know, I used to do that.” A few days later she called me and said “Teresia your comment the other day has been with me ever since and this is a habit I am going to reintegrate into my life.”

After twelve years of being in a committed long term relationship, I clearly see that it is the little things that really make a difference when it comes to the success and sustainability of a healthy, successful relationship. I am very grateful to be in a relationship where we have cultivated a rewarding, fulfilling level of what I call emotional intimacy. All of my life, on some level, emotional intimacy was always very important to me. I intently gather groups of women together and create environments where we share our most intimate desires, fears and vulnerabilities. I have confronted issues in my personal relationship until we reached our own personal breakthroughs where we could connect on a deeper level, something we were both yearning for.

If intimacy is something you crave and don’t have, what are some of the daily acts of kindness you can do to fill that void?

Here are some of the little things that have become a part of my daily experience.

• My partner is a night person and I am a morning person – so he is basically going to bed when I am getting up in the morning. Almost daily we ensure that we have a morning and night connection, he will tuck me in and I will wake him up with a cuddle.

• Every morning I make him a smoothie and hand deliver it to him (I plan my mornings around his morning schedule to ensure we have a chance to connect before he goes off to work. (Having my own business and working from home makes this easy to do.)

• Have you seen the heart Post-It notes? I love them! I make good use of them and leave him little notes all over the place.

• When he comes home from work, I make sure that I greet him at the door (I believe the first 3 minutes you see each other sets the tone for the rest of the day – so I am pretty conscious to make this a great first 3 minutes.)

• I usually shower before him and I will often draw a heart in the steam on the shower door saying “I love you”.

• He will call me often from work to say, “I am thinking about you.” I still get butterflies when I hear his voice.

Some of you may be rolling your eyes (like my friend initially did) and perhaps even be thinking well he/she should be doing this for me. I have taken on the mantra many years ago to get more of what you want – you first need to give it.

To have emotional intimacy be a part of our relationship, these small acts of love are worth far more then any level of inconvenience and the extra effort on the days that I am feeling hurt or upset by our conflicts or when I simple “don’t feel like it”. Relationships are not always easy but a good one takes consistent effort on keeping the relationship glued.

I think Mother Theresa said it all when she said “Love does not measure, it only gives”.

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“We see the connections among women are the most potentially transforming forces on the planet.”
Teresia LaRocque and Cheryl Cran 

All my professional life I have been intrigued by the Power of We.  Being a solo entrepreneur I intuitively knew to create the experiences my heart desired and make the level of difference I was committed to making I could not do it alone. Since the inception of my business, I have started and been part of many groups, a few that have really have transformed my life are : The Author Circle, Cloudnine Mastermind; The Family of Women and my TLC team. 

Shared experiences touch us on the deepest levels.

When a “we” space is created:

• The “we space” builds an identity
• The space is “contained” by the agreements created, and the team is defined
• Well-being and ecology as a whole become both desired and practical
• Individual strengths surface that support the “we” outcomes
• A common purpose emerges and mutual interest is experienced
• Achievement and Celebration become more meaningful

These experiences has been the catalyst for expanding my coaching practice from a 1-1 coaching model to incorporating environments of “we” space such as team coaching for the teams of my entrepreneur and executive clients, also a different form of team coaching, where two coaches work with a client to provide dual perspectives and facilitating mastermind and group programs.  

With the rampant movement of what the media is calling “womenomics” (the concept that male dominance in the workplace is being replaced by the fact that women account for 80% of all purchasing decisions and that women may soon be primary breadwinners; In addition Canada is the fastest growing country for self employed professional women and it has tripled in the last two decades and In Canada one in 10 executives is a woman, and in the US one in five executives is a woman)  it has been a natural next step to ensure that women had access to one of the most strategic business tools available: being part of an innovative, unprecedented “we” space.  

There is a shift and we can all feel it- 2009 was a year that had many of us recognize the need to move more towards a ‘me to we’ approach in both life and in business.

Evolutionaries, philosophers, marketers and researchers are earmarking 2010 as the year that there will be recognition in business and life of the value of feminine attributes such as collaboration, support and connection. It is these values that especially women are looking for in their work and in their lives.  However, most women have gained success through the lone ranger mentality, doing it alone, garnering success for self and resisting support and collaboration. There is a new way of gaining success where women can leverage their time, let go of the lone ranger mentality and get results with ease and effortlessness.  Women are looking to do things differently based on their values to leverage and embrace success in a new more collaborative way.

2010 is the year to  leverage and embrace success in a new more collaborative way: enter the power of the mastermind; the shift from “me” to “we”; letting go of the “lone ranger” mentality. How would your life be different if you were part of a group of like minded people who had a common purpose and was committed to sharing resources, ideas, insights in a noncompetive environment?  What I know for sure is that it transforms lives!

Join us for the Triple “M” Mastermind program is the first of its kind to be held in Vancouver, B.C., starting February 26th, 2010.  Facilitated by Teresia and Cheryl . 

For more information and to sign up for our free info call on Feb 10th 2010 5:30 PM  Click HERE

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“Man is what he believes.” – Anton Chekhov

 Ask yourself what do you really want in your life? Are you achieving it? If not, there is a good chance that there is a limiting belief  in your subconscious that is holding you back.

Beliefs are feelings of certainty and there are two kinds of beliefs, limiting and empowering. Limiting beliefs are feelings that hold us back from creating the results we want in our life. Empowering beliefs are feelings that support us in moving forward to create the results we want in our life. Many times our beliefs are unconscious. When we become conscious of them, especially our limiting beliefs, that is when change begins to happen.

For example: I have a very successful client whose priority at this time is to share his life and success with a life partner.

Challenge: the women he decides he would like to be with, are unavailable in some way, either they are just ending a relationship, are in a committed relationship or are simply not emotionally available for various reasons.  After much soul searching, and allowing me to ask him the tough questions, he discovered there is an underlying belief that he is not desirable. With this belief he will continue to create experiences in his life to support his belief.  On an unconscious level, he gets to say, “See I am right I am not desirable”.  

Most times we are not always aware of the beliefs that drive us, having the courage to dig deep and become aware is a huge first step. With his new found awareness of his limiting belief he is able to make conscious choices that will create new references that will help him attract what he really wants in his life.

 Think of beliefs like a table. A belief is a feeling of certainty – like the top of a table. We have the legs (references) to support that belief. Once we have awareness of our limiting beliefs we can then come up with a new belief, an empowering belief – one that will support us in creating what we want.

Take my clients limiting belief
 ”I am not desirable”

The opposite of that belief could be
 “I have a lot to offer a partner and deserve the reciprocity of love”

 When we first come up with an empowering belief, we may own it intellectually but not truly on an emotional level. We must then act on the new belief and create references so that it becomes a part of who we are. The power of a belief is that we own it on an emotional level, that it becomes the table top – a feeling of certainty.

Again look at what you want in your life. If you don’t have it, start digging.   What is the limiting belief holding you back?  

Remember awareness is not only the first step, but a big one!

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The Shadows know what evil lurks in all people: when people pretend to be better then they really are, they are likely to suddenly explode with rage after a trivial slight or act out in other ways.

This was the title of an article (on the formerly “squeaky – clean” Tiger Woods) in the Vancouver Sun on January 23rd, 2010. It states “Psychologically speaking, the Shadow is the part of our personality that we repress for the sake of maintaining our ideal of our self. And it is often the people who try most diligently to appear guiltless who have the nastiest shadows.”

In 2006, I attended Debbie Ford’s workshop “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” and it changed my life. It was the beginning of not only continuing to embrace my strengths but to become aware and accept the parts of me that I was not so proud of and for many years had denied.

For most of my life, as well as the lives of many of my clients, the goal of perfection; striving to consistently live in a state of happiness and balance, dominates and controls our lives, a pursuit that proves unrealistic.

Striving to become better then we are and maintaining this image of perfection, can only lead to moments of stress, resentment, frustration, anger and extreme overt behaviour that not only harms our well being and happiness but has a huge negative impact on those we love.

Becoming aware of your shadow side, embracing it and learning how to manage it, is the path to inner fulfilment and self acceptance.

Here are some steps you can take to start uncovering your shadow side:

• Notice where you are reacting in your life.
• Where do you judge and blame others?
• Where do you not take full responsibility of what is not working in your life?

These are all clues of your shadow side.

Face it – we all have a shadow side, what we do with it impacts the quality of our life!

Check out Debbie Ford’s book -

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers: Reclaiming Your Power, Creativity, Brilliance, and Dreams

 and also visit her website to learn more about the work she does at http://debbieford.com.

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This month I have been posting alot of blogs on creating what you want for 2010. January is a natural time to set some goals and intentions for the year.

Setting our goals based on our true values is one sure fire way to ensure success. If you want to find out more on how to set valued based goals check out my ebook on a New Approach to Goal Setting.

Yesterday in a session with one of my long term clients we were exploring what he really wants for 2010, already clear of his true values; it was a natural next step to get clear on his “theme” for 2010.  A theme is the overall guiding focus for your year. What is the number one thing that if you were to focus on it, it would support all the other goals you have for yourself? Some examples of themes are: Selfishness before success; Self care because I am worth it; Generosity guides my life experience; Great health, more energy; Ideal clients now; Increase profits, less effort.

Create a theme that inspires and drives your choices and actions for the year! Post it everywhere!

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“Values are you; wants are what you enjoy having. Values fulfill you; wants provide gratification”

~ Thomas Leonard, my late mentor and pioneer of the coaching profession

I love this time of year because I get to share my thoughts on one of my favourite topics of conversations – living a life you love! For most people, January is a month we think about goal setting or new resolutions. Luckily, in these times, we have the great fortune of stepping beyond living a life that meets our basic needs to living a life of extraordinary satisfaction and fulfillment – if we dare to. The resources, opportunities and access to a life coach give no room for excuses to live in the place of “life sucks”.

One of the most important things about life is to know what is most important to you.

When I first became a coach 14 years ago, I was all about goal setting. I would share with my clients “Goal setting is the key to creating what you want in your life; you must be clear of your goals and write them down”. Through my personal journey of consciously creating a life I love and supporting thousands of individuals to do the same, I have discovered that yes, goal setting is important, BUT fruitless unless those goals are set on a foundation of your true values.

To live a life you love and achieve what your heart desires you must first be clear on your values. Let me explain what I mean by that:

Values are the things you do that you find very attractive, an emotional state that you feel is very important. When engaged in these activities you feel most like yourself: in touch with whom you are, glowing, and life is effortless. Values are the essence of who you are.

While we like these things, most of us lead lives, which do not grant us the chance to just do these things. Most people set goals based on ‘have to’, ‘should’ and ‘needs’ and are generally too busy with “responsibilities” or incompletions to pursue the life they truly desire.

Your values are the intangible aspects of life that make you feel in alignment, complete, on track, and functioning at a high level. Examples include adventure, fun, service, creativity, connection, and hundreds more. A life that aligns with one’s core values will feel satisfying, even in difficult times.

When one of my best friends passed away (just after she got married and gave birth to beautiful twins girls), I felt deep sadness and very much immersed in my grief. The loss of what I experienced as a “soulful” friend and the thought of those precious little girls not being raised by their mom was to say the least, very overwhelming.

A few months later I recall sharing with my mastermind team and being in total awe and curiosity around how can I feel this deep sadness but still access feelings of happiness? In the past when I experienced difficult times the negative feelings would dominate my life.

This realization of my new way of being became part of my self analysis for many weeks. I would ask myself how can I be tearful daily, experience this immense grief and still feel a sense of peace and contentment? Perhaps it is that I have a strong spiritual belief system, maybe because I have cultivated supportive relationships in my life? Yes, these were all true but what I realized was at the core, the glue of my satisfaction and contentment was that I have created a life that was aligned with what was most important to me: my values. (Spirituality and strong supportive authentic connections are a couple examples of my values). Living a life that was deeply fulfilling was a huge part in my ability to still function and find the strength in myself to be able to step out of myself and be there for the dad and the twins in the best way I knew how. My personal foundation of a life aligned with my values allowed me to access my inner strength and receive and give the support during this trying time.

When we live a life aligned with our values there are many gifts to be experienced:

• our cup is full and we have so much more to give others

• we live our life from a place of “attraction” vs. force. We begin to attract like minded individuals and opportunities in our life

• we do not spend as much time on making decisions – when you are clear of your values it is easy to decide the next best step

• we create results in our life with less effort

• we live from a place of joy and gratitude

• when challenges come our way – we can still be happy. (Have you ever met someone who just got fired from their job, going through a divorce, or experiencing a health challenge and they still exude joy. Now that is living a successful life.)

When we consciously design our life aligned with our values, life gets immeasurably richer – and easier.

OK, have I enrolled you in living a life aligned with your values? So how do we do that? First you have to get clear on what your values are. Gaining clarity of your values and designing your life around them is a process.

It does not happen over night. I first heard about the concept of values in 1995 when I had my first stint with the Anthony Robbins group and even though I was eager to live life at this new level of passion of fulfillment, it took me many years before I achieved it. When we commit to living a life aligned with our values, really commit, there is a journey of self transformation that happens.

Here is what happens (if you like it or not )

• you begin on a path of self exploration and self discovery

• you must first get your personal needs met (needs in this context is simply put, the things you require on a regular basis in order to do your best work and feel good about yourself.)

• You must be open to healing any unhealed emotional wounds

• You must become comfortable with the concept of “selfishness before success”

I will explore the above topics in future articles but for now I encourage you to give yourself the gift of beginning to discover your values. Begin this journey now – give yourself and those around you the gift of a more joyful and satisfying life.

Coaches request:

As you go through the next month, think about how you would complete this sentence:

“If I had plenty of free time and all the money I could ever want, then I would be free to (action)_and that would let me experience more _(value)_.

Do this exercise over and over to help you identify the aspects of your life that you value most. Keep track of your answers… they’re the roadmap to your life!

As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, nowadays we have the great fortune of stepping beyond living a life that meets our basic needs to living a life of extraordinary satisfaction and fulfillment – my question to you…Do you dare to?

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